The Bwen Axe Spoof
by Mantinas
Summary: Because the commercial with the dummy is as funny as this pairing.     Not to be taken seriously.  Warning: Gay and straight Axe jokes within. Victims are Gwen, Cooper, Ben, Cash & J.T., and the entire female populace!


The Bwen Spoof

Mantinas-A few things: **1, I know it's short. It's short because I wanted this to be funny and sometimes, if I work too hard on a story, I feel the comedy is lost. 2, I dislike the pairing mentioned in the title, but I'm writing it because I think it works better than a gay version of the original Axe commercial. And 3, this is based off the Axe commercial where she tells the other girl to BACK THE FUCK OFF MY MANNEQUIN, BITCH!(Not really in those words, but it was there). The commercial makes me laugh, and so does this pairing. So there.**

Disclaimer-I do not own Ben 10. Or Axe…I actually HATE Axe! Smells of a locker room! A LOCKER ROOM! GIRLS THINK THAT'S SEXY/HOT/ATTRACTIVE?

(X)(X)(X)

Standing up on a stage before countless members of the Bellwood community, Gwen was hosting some strange fundraiser that will never be mentioned because, let's face it, no one really cares…

"Now," Gwen said, holding up a bottle of Axe Body Spray. "Because they're funding this, they wanted us to have a demonstration. Our guinea pig shall be Bellwood's very own-Ben Ten!"

A wave of cheers rings out as well as a few catcalls and whistles as they start to notice that their favorite hero is shirtless showing off his lanky, yet toned arms and surprisingly well toned six pack.

"Now just spray under your arms and across your chest to stay fresh all day."

Kevin, who was standing aloof backstage because he was forced into working at the event(but that didn't mean he _had _to work) started to smell something really good. Like a locker-room only sweeter. Following his nose, he came across his best friend Ben.

"Hey, Ben." He began, sounding flirtatiously, making sure his intentions were known to the usually oblivious hero.

"I KNOW you're not flirting with MY cousin!" Gwen growled, her hands and eyes glowing violet.

"Uh…Um…bye!" He squeaked as he ran for his life.

"There there, Ben." She said, nuzzling his cheek, inhaling the Axe scent. "No big, mean Kevin's gonna take you away from me."

"Um…Gwen…You do remember that Kevin's my boyfriend, right?"

"NOT ANYMORE, BUCKO! YOU'RE MINE!" She roared, scaring the audience who stood stock still as she dragged Ben by the hand off the stage. Everything was silent and still. Not a sound to be heard except for the slamming of a door and the unmanly wails of:

"OH DEAR MERCIFUL GOD-HELP! HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"Alright!" Some random dude shouts. I gotta get me some o' that!"

The other guys started to murmur and nod their heads in agreement. The girls all subconsciously gulped, for they too smelled the sexiness that was Ben's cologne and wanted him, too. But now that he was a safe distance away and their minds reforming from the melted globs of goo they were a few seconds ago heard the boys all agree that they needed Axe. So they gulped again because things were going to get interesting…

Case in point:

Cash and J.T. quickly dashed off to the market just after seeing what happened to Tennyson. They went to a secluded part of the park where the fundraiser was being held and sprayed Axe onto their exposed torsos and waited…Not even fifteen seconds later a whole horde of girls was stampeding towards them(Gwen, Julie, and Cooper in the very front).

The girls slammed into the boys due to the still oncoming feet of the girls behind the trio. Some girls kissed and fondled their chests, a couple of times their junk(the farthest anyone got was licking their bulging boxers), but never for long, for other girls would pull their hair and start a fight so that _they_ could be the ones to do that to them.

It was all fun and games for the two horn dogs until Cooper picked them up and whisked them away, one on each shoulder .

"Hey, come back!" The girls shouted. But all they got in response was Cooper's laughter.

"We three are gonna have sooo much fun!" Cooper said smiling. To which the two looked at each other and screamed: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Back with Ben…

His clothes were torn and his hair a mess. He kept his body tense because he did not trust Gwen being gone long. As soon as he relaxed the door opened. But it wasn't Gwen…It was Kevin, and he had a perverted, Cheshire grin on his face.

"Hey Ben," He said again, right forearm resting on the door frame, his head resting on it.

Ben stared at his boyfriend with deer-in-the-headlight eyes.

Moving closer to Ben, Kevin's face became feral.

"You are mine and **she **touched you…It's time to remark you…"

He closed the door with an audible click. The door locked. If anyone were left(all the guys buying Axe and all the girls waking up from the hypnotic stupor they were just in with Cash and J.T.) they would have heard the moans and territorial groans of Kevin and Ben's typical, really hardcore-sometimes bloody-love making.

The End…?

Narrator looks behind the curtain(leaving his job to me, his two-bit brother in law) to see what Cooper, Cash, and J.T. were up too. OMG! He fainted! And has a nose bleed! I KNEW he was gay! I KNEW it!


End file.
